People thought I would have made a good surgeon too and I sincerely know that's not true, ewww. If you're alive, I'm not going to cut you. I might have been able to be a good Medical Examiner and smells will stop me in my tracks, so no. The truth is, there's a whole lot of things I'm not responsible enough to be or do, I know that. Laughing . . . I'm pretty smart, I don't kid myself about things like that.
There's a part of me that would have made a very good lawyer, everybody thought that was true. It is true and there were no cases I wanted to argue, thought I would be able to effectively argue, within our current court system. The truth is, I'm not a lawyer because when you're guilty you're guilty, I will not defend you.
People thought I would have made a good surgeon too and I sincerely know that's not true, ewww. If you're alive, I'm not going to cut you. I might have been able to be a good Medical Examiner and smells will stop me in my tracks, so no. The truth is, there's a whole lot of things I'm not responsible enough to be or do, I know that. Laughing . . . I'm pretty smart, I don't kid myself about things like that.
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There are minutes I'm twelve again, pining away for something I don't understand and want desperately to figure out. There are moments when I'm out and about when I realize just how many people are on this planet and I'd rather be giving my oxygen allotment to anyone else. There are moments when I amazingly know that as I go, so I go . . . those are the moments that remind me life is the gift it is. My pettest peeve is the silverware drawer. OMG how hard is it to put silverware in its own slot in the drawer insert obviously designed to do just that? I can't tell you how many times I have had to rearrange that drawer because a dinner fork and a salad fork are not interchangeable any more than soup spoon and a teaspoon are. Finally . . . after many years of attempting to explain to all the misguided souls who believe a fork is a fork in any slot . . . I solved it for me. One day I took out the insert and just dumped the dishwasher basket. What I found to my surprise was, it's so much easier. In my effort to holler, "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em," from my own intellectual or organizational superiority, I found my own reality. When people remark about it, I tell them it saves so much time. If my dishwasher was clean, I'd demonstrate. Peace to the pieces . . . There are moments, sometimes hours, as has been the case today, when birds talk to me. That sounds so spiritual, so Zen. It’s not what you might be thinking. Today, 6:06 a.m., “cheater, cheater, cheater.” It stays until another bird overpowers the sound with “Judy, Judy, Judy”, then, “save a seat, save a seat, save a seat.” It is maddening and I cannot stop it. Well, I can stop it if the docs would give me my preferred prescription**. That’ll stop everything. The only thing past drugs that will stop this now is listening. The birds are actually answering my questions. I know that sounds ridiculous and it’s not. My mind flies pictures in between their calls. Now they are saying, “hello, hello, hello”. ** Read this with a pronounced Southern Accent: I was at a neighbor's house, board games were on the docket. I warned them, I play for guts, it's never a game to me. I didn't know the rules of the game they were playing, played it once and lost, won the rest . . . all of them . . . they just kept laughing with me as I apologized about my proclivity. The moral of that story is, you have to make your own winning entertaining enough for them to laugh at your victory. You have to make voracious winning your problem, if you don't you probably won't get asked back. Long days journey into the night of tomorrow morning . . . and Pink, have I ever wished for an endless night . . . lassoed the moon and the stars and held that rope tight . . . have I ever (meant to write so much more) and . . . it's only half past the point of no return, the tip of iceberg, the sun before the burn, the thunder before the lightening, breath before the phrase . . . la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, smiling, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes . . . I always feel that way. It's been quite the shock to find out I'm obsolete, in the work force I don't stand a chance, not anymore . . . the HR Director in me would sit in any interview and tell potential employers that because it's real. Where does that leave me? That leaves me exactly where I've always wanted to be. Right now I'd like to be sitting on my deck in July, air perfect, stars flyin' the Milky Way, orbs dancin' the fields . . . my house is magical . . . it's literally palpable. I've been working too long today, it's late now, I need to watch a thinky show, one I actually have to follow with a modicum of attention, hulu is such a good thing . . . when I had TV it was always on in the background, news channels. I'd program key words just like the NSA into my head. It was comical, all of sudden I’d hear a word and feel myself doing the big roll back in the chair to listen . . . I don’t miss that . . . honestly, I'd rather get my news from The Daily Show. |
About Janet:Janet DeLong, PhD, is a philosophical writer. She'd tell you that is by default, we know it's by design. While her perceptions are not always comfortable, they are always Categories
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